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second draft i will up load my paper and the professor feed back. just work on her suggestions. I was years old on my first plane ride to cabo verde ( africa) something to help build the story lol

Date Posted: 21/09/2020
Category: English
Due Date: 22/09/2020
Instruction
You need to work on narrowing your focus, first. The story should stick to describing your experience leading up to and during that first flight. The rest of it is about your vacation. Second, work on developing the story about flying in more detail. You can do lots more SHOWING: helping readers to understand why you were so nervous, and how your feelings changed (or maybe grew) in the day before you got on the plane. And then work on describing the actual flight in lots of detail--from arriving at the airport to going through the check-in lines and finally boarding the plane. What you want readers to understand is, what this experience was like for you--and that doesn't come across clearly yet.
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  • I was 8, so if u can write about the experiance through an 8 years old perspective, i went to cabo verde . first time new country didnt know the language stuff like that.
    User_15983 | Sep 21, 2020, 21:22 PM
  • I wrote 16,let me correct
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