in text citation Within the paper, do avoid unfocused wording such as "it", especially to start a sentence. What does 'it" refer to? You want your subject to be clear. You do need to write in third person, not first/second. Who is "we" or "our"? You would not know who your reader is or what your reader thought or knew. You need to have a clear thesis as the last sentence of the introduction. That is missing here. The thesis is an argument in statement form and in your own words that you would support and develop throughout the paper. Without a clear thesis, the paper will lack direction. A paragraph cannot start/end with research or be more than 25% author information. Your own ideas must be foremost. You need to explain and discuss how the research best supports your key points.