hey I need quick help with English about Narration--Draft for Peer Review

Essay Plan: Narration When I was 8 years old. I always wanted to learn something has challenge for me. When day my father wanted to teach me how to swim. It was so difficult to learn swimming and in same time you had fear from water but after what I have been through it easy to learn something hard in your life. “Characters”: Names and Description Setting Location: My home country 1. My father was the teacher I was 8 years old 2. My older brothers 3. My who was the student Conflict: I had fear to swim in sea Resolution: learning something new is always going to be difficult in the first · Adopt a consistent point of view—either first or third person · Answer the reporter’s questions: · Who? I am · What? Learning how to swim · When? I was 8 years old · Where? My country · Why? I wanted to face my fear · How? By learn how to swim Introduction: Lead-in: swimming has a good benefit to prove your skill in many good way. Bridge: Learning something new in your life can be more helpful for your experience in your life. Thesis Statement: One of the greatest moment that I have had is when my father taught me how to swim. Body Paragraphs (Plan as many body paragraphs as you need!) Topic Sentence: Learning something new in your life can be more helpful for your experience in your life. · Support: · Learning something new in your life can be more helpful for your experience in your life. I always saw my brothers when they swimming with my father in sea. I always want to swim with them. I have had been afraid of the water so much. I do not why but maybe because what I have heard from people telling stories about treble things that happen to people in seas. Learning how to swim can be one of the more helpful ways that makes you facing the fear. One of the greatest moment that I have had is when my father taught me how to swim. One of the greatest moment that I have had when I learned how to swim. First day I want swim when I got old enough to swim in sea. I was 8 years old. My father and I went to swim one day. He wanted to teach me swimming. It was one of the happiness things in my life. At the first I stood near to my father. Then I just put my legs into the water and I start walking foreword slowly with my father. We became at point that the water come to my stomach. After that my father started to teach me. I t was difficult at the couple few weeks in the beginning but by the time I became a good swimmier like my father. When I learned how to swim I realized if I want to learn something I have had face it. Conclusion (Resolution) Learning to swim was not easy for my but at the end I got what I want to learn. The sea had been always something fear for me. However, I found that if I want to learn something I had to face it. It was one of the greatest moment that happened in my life.